Intense

Intense.

That's the best word to describe my feelings for you. Intense. Like nothing, nothing I have ever experienced in my four… nearly five decades on this planet.

I sometimes wonder, what would it actually be like? If all these fantasies came true? What would it look like, if it were me taking you to that show tomorrow, instead of him?

How could my heart survive it?

I swear I nearly died that weekend a few weeks ago, I finally got to talk to you… so much, comparatively, and yet so little in the grand scheme of things. My heart beating like a war drum the whole time. BOOM BOOM BOOM, barely contained within in my chest, a wonder you didn't hear it.

How could I possibly survive it? I suppose I have to assume things would mellow out. My heart rate would ease. Familiarity making it so, eventually, seeing that smile of yours would simply make my heart skip a single beat instead of threatening to stop altogether.

My god. I just love you, so very much. So much I can't breath sometimes. So much I ache, physically. So much I often wonder how it's even possible to love like this. I never knew. I never even suspected. I am just full, overflowing, just… love. I am become love, for you. There's nothing else here anymore, my existence entirely consumed by my love for you.

And it's beautiful. Like looking into the sun.

I love you, love you. Love you.

Love,
♒️